its not stalking. its research.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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