saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
