East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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