so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
