Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
