Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
