i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
