Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Randomize
