I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
