I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
