And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
