I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
