Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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