I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
