when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
