I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
