You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
