you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
