too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
