She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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