he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
