Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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