He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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