She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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