He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have aggressive nipples.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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