when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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