Already got asked if we're dating
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
