Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I pour the whiskey from now on
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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