my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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