do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
