end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
