similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
