I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
