i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
