apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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