My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
