you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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