doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
