I need help removing her.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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