The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
