I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
