just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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