whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
