He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
