I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
