Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
