suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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