I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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