im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
