I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
