I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As shirtless as possible
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
