tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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