Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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