what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
